Co-parenting tips for divorced parents: Making transitions easier
One of the most difficult stages in joint child custody is the transitions period, there are stages involved in the transition process and if not handle careful it may disrupt every gain made in other areas of joint custody a big mess. The transition processof when the child leaves, to when the child
returns and dealing with visitation refusal could be an enormous task to be surmounted by the joint custody couple during the transition.
The actual move from one household to another, whether it happens every few days or just on weekends, can be a very hard time for children. Transitions represent a major change in your children’s reality. Every reunion with one parent is also a separation with the other; each “hello” is also a “goodbye.” In joint custody arrangements, transition time is inevitable, but there are many things you can do to help make exchanges and transitions easier, both when your children leave and return.
When your child leaves
As kids prepare to leave your house for your ex’s, try to stay positive and deliver them on time. You can use the following strategies to help make transitions easier:
* Help children anticipate change. Remind kids they’ll be leaving for the other parent’s house a day or two before the visit.
* Pack in advance. Depending on their age, help children pack their bags well before they leave so that they don’t forget anything they’ll miss. Encourage packing familiar reminders like a special stuffed toy or photograph.
*Always drop off—never pick up the child on “switch day.” It’s a good idea to avoid “taking” your child from the other parent so that you don’t risk interrupting or curtailing a special moment. Drop off your child at the other parent’s house instead.
When your child returns
The beginning of your children’s return to your home can be awkward or even rocky. You can try the following to help your child adjust:
* Keep things low-key. When children first enter your home, try to have some down time together—read a book or do some other quiet activity.
* Double up. To make packing simpler and make kids feel more comfortable when they are at the other parent’s house, have kids keep certain basics—toothbrush, hairbrush, pajamas—at both houses.
* Allow the child space. Children often need a little time to adjust to the transition. If they seem to need some space, do something else nearby. In time, things will get back to normal.
* Establish a special routine. Play a game or serve the same special meal each time your child returns. Kids thrive on routine—if they know exactly what to expect when they return to you it can help the transition.
Dealing with visitation refusal
Sometimes kids refuse to leave one parent to be with the other. Although this can be a difficult situation, it is also common for children in joint custody.
* Find the cause. The problem may be one that is easy to resolve, like paying more attention to your child, making a change in discipline style, or having more toys or other entertainment. Or it may be that an emotional reason is at hand, such as conflict or misunderstanding. Talk to your child about his or her refusal.
* Go with the flow. Whether you have detected the reason for the refusal or not, try to give your child the space and time that he or she obviously needs. It may have nothing to do with you at all. And take heart: most cases of visitation refusal are temporary.
* Talk to your ex. A heart-to-heart with your ex about the refusal may be challenging and emotional, but can help you figure out what the problem is. Try to be sensitive and understanding to your ex as you discuss this touchy subject.
As per of joint custody arrangement, you should make your kids transition process as easy for them as possible, remember everything you and your ex are doing should be in the best interest of your kids, even when it hurts you. Their several obstacles experienced during transition process but with the kid in focus, the transition process will evolve.
Transition Process: Collaborative Divorce Lawyer/Attorney: Divorce without going to war & save the children!!!
Related articles on Co-parenting: Transition Process
- Divorce Issue: Co-parenting With Your Ex (realdivorcetalk.com)
- Part time mother? (purplepersuasion.wordpress.com)
- What are the Different Types of Custody in a Divorce/Sharon Oberst DeFala, Esq. (civildivorcecivilget.wordpress.com)
- Senator Stalls Child Custody Bill (thenerve.org)
- Co-Parenting – Setting Hurt And Anger Aside (realdivorcetalk.com)
With the three parts mentioned above, the article, video and related links, making the transition process of your kid easier can be attained